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Our resident columnist Marshall Julius bravely comes out from behind the sofa to salute four VIP members of Universal's Monster Club.
Dare you read on...?

"The art of self-tormenting is an ancient one, with a
long and honourable literary tradition. Man, not satisfied
with the mental confusion and unhappiness to be derived from
contemplating the cruelties of life and the riddle of the
universe, delights to occupy his leisure moments with puzzles "
- Mystery writer Dorothy L. Sayers
You can trace the origins
of horror as far back as you can the origins
of man. Tales of shape shifters, blood drinkers and
the walking dead pervade the folklore of every culture
on earth. In other words, we've always been fascinated by monsters.
"In all of us there is the instinct to shun that
which is abnormal or strange in others," wrote horror aficionado
Richard Davis, "yet we are fascinated by it. Given a fictitious
monster to fear, we do not, as often in
real life, have to hide our feelings of revulsion. We can allow ourselves
to enjoy being shocked and repelled."
Back when the ancient Greeks were
known simply as the Greeks, stories of murder, magic,
cannibalism, disfigurement and things that go bump in the
night were all the rage. Centuries later, all that changed was
the opportunity to mass market nightmares, giving rise to an
enduring cache of 19th Century horror literature that
hypnotized the world and holds us still. These days we're less
likely to read a book, though, than go to the movies or pop on
a DVD.
Early on in the 20th Century the monsters fled
the printed page for Hollywood, ending up at the gates of
mighty Universal, the studio that more than 70 years ago
embarked on a legendary cycle of fright flicks. It was
Universal who molded the folklore, mythology and literature of
horror into manageable movie chunks, writing the book on big
screen beasts as diverse as the Wolf Man, Mummy and Creature
From The Black Lagoon.
Today those visions seems quaint
in comparison with the more visceral approach to horror
championed by George Romero's
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
yet their influence remains undiminished by the years. In
every zombie there's a bit of Boris Karloff. In every vampire,
a hint of Bela Lugosi. Pretty much every horror movie you've
ever seen owes something to those original screen
monsters.

Count Dracula is by far the greatest of them,
a vampiric superstar who boasts more super powers than an
entire legion of costumed comic book heroes.
An immortal predator holding dominion over the creatures of the night,
wolves and rats among them, one minute he's a bat, the next an
eerie mist. Free of the ravages of conscience or emotion he is
the unstoppable psycho within us all, yet his incredible
powers come at a price, balanced as they are by a slew of
Achilles' heels. Garlic he hates, holy water and crucifixes
too. Sunlight kills him, though nine out of ten slayers favour
a stake through the heart.
Inspired by the blood lust
of Transylvanian folk hero Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes, a 15th
Century monarch and sadist best known for his enthusiastic
skewerings, Dracula rose to eternal life from the imagination
of Victorian author Bram Stoker, and remains a firm fixture of
popular culture thanks to his iconic incarnation in
Universal's earliest horror hit. Limited only by the special
effects available at the time, Todd Browning's Dracula
envisaged the Count as a sophisticated tyrant whose eerie
smile hid several lifetimes of wrongdoing. Regardless of his
wild overacting, Bela Lugosi's magnetic performance cast a
mould from which most bloodsuckers since have sprung.
Vampire movies of note include unsettling silent German effort
Nosferatu (1922), England's own Hammer House of Horror
favourite Dracula (1958), which remains the most faithful
adaptation of Stoker's novel, and the jokily self-aware yet
genuinely scary Fright Night (1985). Shadow Of The Vampire (2000)
(2000) is also a must, a twisted account of the making of
Nosferatu that suggests that its leading man, the peculiar Max
Schreck, really was a vampire. Finally there's Blade 2 (2002),
based on the Marvel comicbook, particularly notable for
recasting the vampire as the good guy.
Thanks to the real life
horrors of the trenches, the Holocaust and Vietnam, vampires
are no longer the greatest evil we can conceive, so much so
that from time to time we can even accept them as
heroes.

Frankenstein's Monster could never play the
hero. We wouldn't let him. A pathetic creature cobbled
together from odd bits of corpse, he's a terrible sight to
behold, yet deep down what he craves is love and acceptance.
Unfortunately those are the two things that mankind is
incapable of giving him, freaked out, as we are, by his
terrifying visage and inevitable stench. Unwilling to seek out
his sweet side, we treat him like a monster, chain him in
dungeons and chase him with flaming torches, and so a monster
he becomes. Really, we're the bad guys. We deserve his
wrath.
A warning from the early 19th Century on the
dangers of playing god - geneticists please take note -
Frankenstein originated from the dreams of a teenage girl,
surely the most terrifying creature of all. At 18, Mary
Wolstonecraft Shelley, travel writer, novelist and wife of
Percy Shelley, was inspired to seek out a tale that would
"...speak to the mysterious fears of our nature and awake
thrilling horror. One to make the reader dread to look around,
to curdle the blood, and quicken the beatings of the heart."
She succeeded, not only in scaring readers witless, but also
in forcing us to acknowledge that it's our own intolerance
that makes this world such a terrible place.
"Everybody's a mad scientist," says David Cronenberg, director of Scanners
and The Fly, "and life is their lab. We're all trying to
experiment to find a way to live, to solve problems, to fend
off madness and chaos."
Between Englishman James Whale's
spirited direction, Jack Pierce's classic
bolt-through-the-neck make-up and Boris Karloff's
heartbreaking portrayal of The Monster, these films remain the
best in the Frankenstein canon. Possibly because of the
censorious times in which they were made, the Frankenstein
movies and many of their contemporaries had a dignity,
subtlety and aspect of pathos about them. The advent of movie
gore saw off those nobler qualities, yet perhaps because the
film world never saw their like again, those early creatures
remain as potent now as ever, living large in our imaginations.
Just as you think of Bela Lugosi whenever you
hear the name Dracula, images of Boris Karloff invade your
mind at the merest suggestion of Frankenstein's Monster. "His
face fascinated me," said Whale of his imposing leading
man.

Despite the many more recent versions of the
Dracula and Frankenstein legends, both creatures remain deeply
entrenched in their thirties movie roots. The Mummy, too. Be
honest, now. Who among us hasn't spent a rainy day wrapping
ourselves from head to toe in loo roll and lumbering around
the house moaning? That's pure Boris Karloff.
Born from the
ancient Egyptian obsession with death and steeped in the
supernatural, the Mummy is a natural movie monster. Explorer
Howard Carter and his merry band of tomb raiders may have
escaped the horrors of the walking dead after unearthing
Tutankhamen's remains in 1922, but the power of the Pharaoh's
curse was enough to send them all to early graves.
That story alone was enough to inspire a legion of Mummy movies, kicking
off with Boris Karloff in Universal's atmospheric 1932
version, followed by Christopher Lee's spirited Hammer
treatment in 1959, and finally coming into its own courtesy of
Stephen Sommers' adventurous "re-imagining" of Mummy mythology
in 1999. They all wear the bandages, though. Remaining true to
Egyptian superstition has never been a priority. Remaining
true to Boris Karloff's make-up job, however, remains an
absolute essential.

The 1940s brought a significant new
addition to the Universal stable. The Wolf Man, played by
Lon Chaney Jr, son of the silent horror film star known as the Man
of a Thousand Faces.
Like Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolf Man
has always warranted a little sympathy. That's not to say
you'd want to stop and stroke a werewolf or toss him a chew
toy, because to him you are the chew toy. But he's driven by
forces beyond his control and knows not what he does. That has
to count for something. As Claude Rains explains in the 1941
classic, "even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers
by night may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the
Autumn moon is bright".
In the hands of the movies, the legend
of the lycanthrope becomes a fable about duel identity and an
excuse to spill copious amounts of blood. And thanks to
advances in special effects, werewolves are no longer men with
hairy faces. Check out the Wolf Man in Van Helsing to see just
how far Hollywood has come. But if it's scares and sick black
humour you're after, you won't do any better than
An American Werewolf in London (1981).

The lesson is, you can't keep a good monster down.
Stake them through the heart. Blast
them full of silver. Torch them to a crisp. They'll be back.
They always come back. Not for us, and not for real, but on
the big screen. Safely removed from our reality they remain
the masters of their own, free to rise from their graves, from
the deep, from Hell or from outer space to eviscerate horny
teenagers and give us all a guilt-free vicarious
thrill.
"It's like boot camp for the psyche," explains
Wes Craven, director of A Nightmare On Elm Street and
The People Under The Stairs. "In real life, human beings are
packaged in the flimsiest of packages, threatened by real and
sometimes horrifying dangers, events like Columbine. But the
narrative form puts these fears into a manageable series of
events. It gives us a way of thinking rationally about our
fears."
Strange though it might seem, there's nothing
more life affirming or reassuring than watching the fictional
die horribly. "Fear," wrote H.P. Lovecraft, the father of
modern horror fiction, "is the oldest and strongest emotion".
It makes sense that we'd want to experience it, even enjoy it,
albeit in a controlled environment. We survive but the monster
doesn't, at least for a little while. We confront our inner
demons in a safe and entertaining manner. We identify,
confront and defeat those things that scare us most about the
world, about others and most of all, about ourselves. And we
feel better.
That's what monsters are for, and why we'll never outgrow them.
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