Transformers
By Andy Senyszyn, Blockbuster.co.uk

When was the last time you had fun - uncomplicated, undiluted and unadulterated enjoyment? Can you remember the last time you let your inner child come to the surface to go nuts for a while? If it’s been a while or even if you’re one of those (like me) that’s never really grown up, you need to give the 10 year old inside you two and a half hours in front of the incredible spectacle that is ‘Transformers’.

If you go in to Transformers expecting intellectual theatre you’re in the wrong place. Similarly, dismissing Michael Bay’s latest offering as mere fluff is more than a little harsh too. It’s easy to be cynical when faced with the latest action blockbuster these days, as we’ve seen so much of it all before. However, Transformers is the pinnacle of everything you have seen before and augments this with scintillating eye candy that you haven’t.

Remember Terminator 2 and the T-1000? Yeah, your jaw hit the floor too. The first dinosaurs coming in to view in Jurassic Park – wow. The inhabitants of Hogwarts and Middle Earth were like nothing you’d seen. Now, giant transforming robots have brought their war to our world, and it’s awesome – F22 Raptor jets, tanks, helicopters, a giant metallic scorpion and 30ft tall bipeds with energon-swords; this is something else!

Director Michael Bay said he didn’t want to do ‘a stupid toy movie’ – he hasn’t. Although (intentionally) daft in parts, this is an adrenaline fuelled romp, an awesome assault on the senses but one that is never in danger of taking itself too seriously. The eye-popping action sequences are complemented by humorous, engaging character moments that endear both the human and CGI cast. A trinity of themes help balance the film and keep things moving along at pace; The ‘bot-centric’ scenes evoke child-like wonder and awe, the civilian scenes raise a few guilty teenage giggles, and then the military scenes are some of the most authentic and absorbing seen in a Hollywood blockbuster since ‘Black Hawk Down’ and lend a ‘grown up’ edge to proceedings.

Steven Spielberg pitched Transformers as a coming of age story starring ‘a boy and his first car’. Strong humanistic characters are a Spielberg hallmark, and these characters feature prominently in Transformers. Shia LaBeouf is instantly likeable as Sam Witwicky, average high-school kid eager for his first car and out to woo the girl. In a devilishly daft cameo, Bernie Mac sells LaBeouf a beat up 70’s Chevrolet Camaro that turns out to be robot in disguise ‘Bumblebee’, the Autobot’s advanced scout, here on Earth to find an artefact from the Transformers’ civil war-ravaged world before the antagonists of the piece (the Decepticons) can lay their evil hands on it.

LeBeouf has already been compared to a Young Tom Hanks, and on the evidence of Transformers his career is likely to attain similar longevity; expressive and engaging, he plays the likely every-boy/man role superbly, managing to strike the balance between awkward geek and all-round good guy with ease. Strikingly beautiful movie newcomer Megan Fox plays Mikaela Banes, the love interest and character foil for LaBeouf’s Sam; there’s a chemistry between the two and Fox has some subtle character moments throughout which elevate her above the usual ‘screaming female’, beloved of so many action adventures.

The light hearted and sometimes hilarious scenes featuring the Witwicky family (with memorable performances from Kevin Dunn and Julie White) are a joy to behold in a film that could have been (to its detriment) ‘all grown-up and serious’. Lest we forget, this is a kid’s toy we’re talking about here, albeit one with a rich mythology that has grown along with the Transformers fan base in the last 23 years. The writers’ appreciation of this in-place back story probably helped them to craft the accessible storyline; don’t go trying to re-tell the story that’s already there, just tell a good story with giant warring robots coming to Earth as your backdrop. It’s simple for sure, but it’s effective – this movie is out to please whether you’re five or fifty-five.

And most pleasing of all are the Transformers themselves! Industrial Light & Magic have surpassed their own incredibly high standards once more and set a new benchmark for blockbuster cinema. A tip of the hat to director Michael Bay here, known for being something of a directorial ‘hard-ass’, who rejected countless special effects renders until ILM delivered shots that looked ‘real’. The transformation sequences are incredibly intricate and look fantastic, whether they happen over the space of 15 seconds or more as in Optimus Prime’s first appearance or in a split second as featured in the frenetic battle sequences. There are tantalising glimpses of the giant mechanoids right from the off, but it’s about a third of the way in to the film when we get our first Autobot versus Decepticon smack-down between Bumblebee and rogue police squad car Barricade; a car chase, smashed-up warehouses, giant duelling robots and Shia LaBeouf removed from his jeans by a six foot Transforming CD player – amazing to watch, intentionally silly, hugely entertaining.

A generation of twenty-somethings are also delighted to hear the dulcet god-like tones of Peter Cullen as Autobot leader Optimus Prime once more; to the average movie watcher it’s a fine voice over performance but to 1980’s Transformers fan-boys, the Optimus Prime of your childhood is back from the dead (once again!) and this time he’s got incredible looks to match the awe-inspiring voice!

It is fair to say the film isn’t at its strongest when the robots are away from proceedings. The Pentagon scenes, while lent some gravitas by John Voight as Secretary of Defence Keller, are a neither as intense as the sequences with Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson leading their troops in to battle, nor as amusing as the Witwicky family scenes; the characters are a little two-dimensional and are used merely to forward the plot, writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman perhaps wary of overloading the story with too many big players. Kudos though to the excellent John Turturro as shady government operative Agent Symmons, who switches effortlessly from menacingly powerful to ludicrously self-deluded in the blink of an eye.

The movie climaxes with incredible special effects set-pieces aplenty. Cynics may argue this is the pay-off for sitting through a two hour commercial for boys’ toys and General Motors vehicles; to deride Transformers as a glorified advertisement is unfair and inaccurate. It may not be deep and thought provoking cinema but nor does it pretend to be, while so many other move franchises of the last decade attempt to masquerade as something ‘cerebrally stimulating’ or ‘post-ironic’ or whatever is flavour of the month with the media darlings.

Transformers has limitations as an ‘origin’ movie – it’s quite obviously only a scene setter for the sequels to follow – but as a coming-of-age tale it’s a barn-storming tour de force full of heart and humour that takes ‘Popcorn Cinema’ to new heights. The most enjoyable two and a half hours I’ve spent in a movie theatre in years, Transformers is an enthralling experience for kids of all ages; ignore your ‘grown-up’ cynicism and let your inner child run riot like an evil transforming robot on a freeway!

Rating: *****

You could knock a star off for the ‘simple’ plot and lacking Pentagon scenes, but this is popped right back on due to all the superb eye candy and humour – A Must See!

Blockbuster.co.uk’s Andrew Senyszyn is the author of The History of Transformers, a two part exclusive feature charting the rise and rise of the Transformers franchise.

Check out this great Michael Bay Featurette:
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