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 I'll say it loud and I say it proud, my name is
Marshall and I'm a Trekkie. Some people prefer the term Trekker, but
I think that sounds more like hiking and climbing than sitting on
the sofa for hours on end, eating junk food and watching my
favourite show. When I was a kid and all we had was classic
Star Trek, I was all about Kirk (William Shatner). The way he
spoke, the way he fought, the soft-focus aliens he loved and the
many civilisations he had a hand in ruining. Years later, though at
first I admit I resisted his charms, The
Next Generation's Picard (Patrick Stewart) soon commanded my
attention. So bald, so resolute, so principled. If Kirk was like an
imaginary older brother, Jean-Luc was a stern but loving father.
Then along came Sisko (Avery Brooks), more erratic than the first
two captains, he presided over the soapiest Trek of all, Deep
Space Nine. Voyager
saw Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) strike a blow for equal rights by
occupying the big chair, though once sexy Borg Seven of Nine (Jeri
Ryan) joined the crew, no one really looked at her again. Damn fine
woman though, Janeway, uncompromising but approachable. And then
there was Archer (Scott Bakula), the very first captain of the very
first Enterprise
in the very last Star Trek show so far, underrated prequel
Enterprise, which ends its run in the States this month. Which is a
terrible shame as the last couple of seasons have been particularly
amazing. I'd even go so far as to say that the third
season of Enterprise, which was basically one long story, was
the single greatest season of any Star Trek show ever.
It's not easy to sum
up the appeal of a show that captured my imagination as far back as
I can remember and still holds it captive today. Is it because Star
Trek offers the only positive view of the future in science fiction?
That despite the Federation's various interplanetary wars they have
at least eliminated racism, sexism and all those other nasty isms on
Earth? Or is it because over the course of five live action series,
an Emmy award winning cartoon and ten blockbusting movies, Star Trek
has told hundreds upon hundreds of incredible stories, ingenious and
compelling, full of drama and surprise? Then again, it may be
because at the heart of each show is an exotic yet personable
ensemble cast who bond like a family, not only with each other, but
also with the viewers. Which is kind of special. No matter how
outrageous their situations become, they keep it real, they keep it
human, and they share it all with us. Ultimately I think it's a
combination of all three, the hope, the stories and the heart, that
makes Star Trek what it is. That, and a generous sprinkle of
Chemical X, because if we knew exactly why it worked so well we'd be
able to recreate it time and again, and since no one ever has,
there's clearly a little secret magic at work.
Over the years I've played with the toys, read
the novels and collected the comics. All of which I'm happy to say I
still own. I've also been to a convention or two, but never wearing
Spock ears. Some lines I just won't cross. As a journalist,
meanwhile, I've exploited my position over the years to meet many of
the cast and crew. From Classic Trek I spent time chatting with
Walter Koenig (Chekov), who never felt he got enough to do in the
movies, and George Takei (Sulu), who seemed to hide his true
personality behind a wide smile and rehearsed patter. When Next
Generation starting shooting, my brother Mark, who was in public
relations at the time and had some rather useful contacts, got me
onto the Paramount lot for lunch in the commissary with Michael Dorn
in full Worf make-up. That was a good day. He introduced me to the
entire cast of the show, none of whom I recognised at the time, but
it was still very cool. I have since interviewed Brent Spiner
(Data), who was a bit off, Jonathan Frakes (Riker), who's an
absolute top bloke, and Marina Sirtis (Troi), who despite playing
the weakest character in all of Star Trek (having a counselor on
board was, I think, a touchy feely step too far), is easily one of
the friendliest and chattiest actresses I've ever met. The
Convention Queen as she's known to the fans. The crews of Deep Space
Nine and Voyager have so far eluded me, but they're on my list.
Enterprise, meanwhile, gave me the opportunity to spend some time
alone in a room with the very sexy Jolene Blalock (T'Pol).
Unfortunately we were both fully dressed, but it was still a great
half hour. I also had a chat with British actor Dominic Keating
(Reed), formerly of Desmonds, and while he was very likeable, he
didn't look as good in a catsuit. And that's all I'm going to say
about that.
So how much do I love Star Trek? Is it my
first, my last, my everything? Well, as one of the few Star Trek
nerds in country lucky enough to have bagged an actual human wife, I
have to say it's Laura I love the best. She even watches Star Trek
with me, which is better than having sex with two women (I imagine).
She's my wife, but Star Trek is my mistress, and I'm going to finish
with a little story that proves exactly how devoted I am. Eleven
years ago I was invited to attend a press conference with William
Shatner and Patrick Stewart to promote Generations.
They arrived late but were on good form and it was a real thrill to
be in the same room as two of my top TV idols. When the conference
ended, the public relations girl handling the event announced to the
room that Stewart and Shatner were in a hurry to do other things,
and that she'd appreciate it is we didn't trouble them for
autographs. Which was a problem, as I had a fantastic print of Kirk
buried under a pile of Tribbles
that I was going to get signed, no matter what.
Walking to the front of the room to retrieve my
tape recorder, I found myself quite naturally beside the one and
only William Shatner, standing still and quiet and crossing his
arms. What harm could there possibly be in asking for an autograph?
It didn't look like he was in a hurry. So I did. "Excuse me, Mr
Shatner," I said respectfully, "would you mind signing this picture
for me. I'm a huge fan." And I was. I'd read both volumes of his
Star Trek: Memories and even used to watch TJ Hooker. Remaining
still with his arms crossed, he looked over at me and, smiling right
through me, said that the PR girl was against it, so he really
shouldn't. Then he looked away, and that was that. Crushed, I took
my unsigned picture and slunk away. I really hated him for that. He
was the Captain of the Enterprise for God's sake - who cares what
some silly little PR girl said he should do? It was an experience
that threatened to put me off Star Trek for good, an unhappy memory
I'd be forced to relive every time I saw Kirk fighting
the Gorn or trying to make Spock
smile. But, you know, there's so much more to Star Trek than one
unpleasant actor, I couldn't bare to turn my back on Gene
Roddenberry's transcendent creation. I adore its strengths and
forgive it its flaws and nothing and no one could possibly change
how I feel. And that's how much I love Star Trek.
See you next week!
Marshall
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