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The first movie star I remember idolising was Harrison
Ford. I was eight years old and had just seen Star
Wars for the
very first time, unsullied as it was back then by George
Lucas's disfiguring additions and the tedious horror of
episodes one to three. It was the good old days, and while the
girls dreamed of swinging to safety in Luke's arms, for me it was
always about Han. So feisty, so sharp, so funny. And he had a giant
spaceship-flying dog for a best mate. As far as I was concerned, he
was everything I could ever hope to be, and Indiana
Jones only deepened my devotion. I'd regularly admit back then
that if I would ever go gay for anyone, it would be Harrison
Ford, though I never
really expected him to call my bluff.
Post Han and
Indy, though I did my best to remain faithful to Ford, his grown up
movie choices bored me into seeking a new hero. Since it was the
Eighties by then and the only decent genre during that whole sorry
decade was action, who else was I going to devote myself to but Arnold
Schwarzenegger? Though I don't remember saying I'd go gay for
him, as frankly his massive size terrified me away from such
thoughts, I was always the first in line to see anything the
Austrian Avenger cranked out, and the first to defend him if anyone
ever dared criticise his life, work or luminous personality. So
confidant, so strong, so effortlessly hilarious. I stuck with him
through thick and thin, enjoying his triumphs, enduring the turkeys,
but eventually got worn down by Junior
and the like. His greatest hits will never be diminished by those
later failures, though, and there will never come a time when I
can't sit down and enjoy the likes of Conan
The Barbarian, Commando,
The
Running Man, Total
Recall and the Terminators.
I even liked the
third one.
I
met him once, at a press conference, and even though it had been
years since he'd made a decent movie, I was giddy with excitement. I
was sitting right at the back of the room and as he rose to leave, I
jumped out of my seat and dashed towards him, jumping over anything
and anyone in my way, all the time yelling "MR SCHWARZENEGGER!" at
the top of my voice. To his credit he didn't have me arrested.
Instead, he turned and waited and then suddenly there I was,
standing before him, shaking his massive man-hand and talking about
something or other. To be honest, I was so overwhelmed to be meeting
him that I have no idea what either of us said. It was a brilliant
moment though. I've met a lot of famous people over the years, but
few have affected me like Arnie. It's no wonder he's a politician
now. Despite his questionable background and politics, he's
impossible to resist when you meet him in the
flesh.
Throughout my early years with Ford and
middle Arnie period, there was, however, another. One who today I
regard as the greatest of them all. The movie star of my dreams, and
one of the best directors in Hollywood, Clint
Eastwood. So cool, so fearless, so totally in control. Though
it's Dirty
Harry I love the best, really I'll watch anything Clint appears
in, be it action thriller, revisionist western or even, and I don't
mind admitting it, chick flick. My wildest dream, though, is that
one day Clint will take the lead in a big screen adaptation of Frank
Miller's peerless Batman
classic, The Dark Knight Returns. The story of an aged Bruce Wayne
forced back into action to deal with villains old and new, it's the
greatest comic book of them all, and could easily become a movie
classic in the right hands. Now that the Batman
movie franchise is finally on track with the awesome new Christian
Bale effort, maybe
someone will convince Clint to do his tough guy act one more time. I
would consider it a personal favour.
And while I'm on the
subject of movies Hollywood should make, how about another crack at
Howard the Duck? Seriously. For a short while back in the Seventies,
Howard the Duck was my favourite comicbook. Smart, funny and
surprisingly dark, it told the tale of a cigar smoking duck from
another dimension whose foes included vampiric cows and whose best
friend was a stripper. At the very least, it would make a great
cartoon. But I digress. This week is all about Harrison, Arnie and
Clint, three larger than life men who will brighten your list
considerably. Why not start with Million
Dollar Baby, Clear
and Present Danger and Conan
The Barbarian? Now that's all you need for
a great night in!
Happy
Viewing!
Marshall
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