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 Back in the Seventies when I was a kid and we
only had three channels to choose from, all I wanted to do was move
to America and watch their TV instead. So many choices. So much
variety. Surely it was heaven on earth. Too many adverts, maybe, but
that seemed a small price to pay for 24/7 access to cartoons, sitcoms and bionic action shows. "Quality, not quantity," the grown-ups
would say, but I didn't buy that for a second. When I was young
there was nothing I didn't like, so for me it was all about
quantity. Before VHS and videogames came along to fill my every
waking hour, all I had to keep me going was two BBC's and an ITV,
and frankly that wasn't enough. That's why I resented American kids.
Mostly because of their telly, but also because of their access to
Hostess Twinkies, which never made it to England, and it's probably
just as well as I'd be forty stone by now and forced to wash myself
with a rag on a stick.
The irony is that while British
television eventually expanded beyond my wildest dreams, I was quite
a bit older by then, and considerably more critical, and no longer
excited by back-to-back garbage. Be careful what you wish for, I
guess. Now when I sit in front of the telly, I channel hop though
hundreds of options, yet rarely do I settle on any of them. On a
good week, there's maybe five or six hours worth of watchable stuff.
Beyond that, I have to look elsewhere for my entertainment.
These days I make a reasonably honest living as a showbiz journalist
and film critic, which means I spend a lot more time at the cinema
than most people would ever want to. But I'm a night owl, and
require constant visual stimulation. It's either that or food, and
since there are no calories in films, when it's late and I reckon I
can squeeze another movie in before collapsing into bed, I don't
even think about what's on TV. I head instead for a tidy pile of
square blue envelopes that I keep by the telly. |
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 Since
signing up for Blockbuster's Unlimited Rental
Service , I'm never stuck for something to watch. There's always
something new that I missed at the cinema or something good that
I've been meaning to catch up with for years. And every time I think
of another film that I want to see, I add it to my list and leave it
up to 'Big Blue' to post it through my door. I honestly don't see
how it could be any easier. I guess the envelopes could have wings
and fly back to Blockbuster when we're done with them, but since I
have a post box not a minute's walk from my house, it's not
something that I'm going to push for.
Since this is my first column for Blockbuster
Online, I wanted to introduce myself and give you a taste of the
kind of ranting you can expect from me, week after week until we are
old. My name's Marshall, I'm 35, married with kids, and consider
myself a high-functioning nerd. I collect film and TV memorabilia,
which basically means I have a lot of comics and Homer Simpson toys.
My favourite movie genres are Sci
Fi, Horror,
Action
and Comedy,
though I'll watch anything if it's good. The best TV show of all
time is The
Simpsons, and I'll fight anyone who disagrees. If it has to be
live action, let it be Curb
Your Enthusiasm. And lately the film I've been banging on about
the most is Sky
Captain and the World of Tomorrow . It's so much like my dreams
I can't believe it. If you haven't seen it yet - do yourself a
favour and put it at the top of your list.
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 Also
new this week is an exclusive interview with iconic Australian
comedian Paul
Hogan, and for all you trivia nuts out there, a list of the
greatest hidden extra features - a.k.a. 'Easter
Eggs' - found on DVD. There's also, as always, the
opportunity for you to Recommend a
Friend to Blockbuster, which is not only a good thing to do for
your friends, but also a great way to earn ten quid off your own
rental charges.
See
you next week!
Marshall
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